08 August 2013

Three More Emotions of Repatriation


Emotion 7 - Getting Stuff Done 
It starts getting near the pointy end, near to the actual moving day, and you get down to business. You are focussed. You are a machine. An email sending, form filling, hotel booking machine. You make categorised, prioritised lists of things you need to do. And then you do them. You organise import permits and insurance. You cancel your cable, find a home for your fish. You book storage units and flights and serviced apartments. 

You don't ponder the pros and cons, you don't mope about this or that, you just get stuff done. You don't waste time with things you'd normally enjoy, like preparing delicious meals, you just eat whatever's easy and you get stuff done. You barely sleep, you stay off Twitter / Facebook / Instagram / Candy Crush for hours at a time (okay, maybe it was just the one hour), you don't blog or play with Photoshop. You just get stuff done. 

Emotion 8 - Delirium / Exhaustion 
You see all those ticks on your to do list and you think 'I am so freaking organised! I am the freaking QUEEN of getting stuff done!'. And then, seeing as you are a queen and all, you ask the dogs to curtsey before you. And you wonder if someone should make you a crown. And you giggle to yourself, a little hysterically. And you think - perhaps it's time for bed...

And you wake up the next morning and your eyes are scratchy and your throat is sore and your glands are swollen. And lots of people tell you to take it easy, take a rest. So you do. You sleep in, and you spend a day reading, and listening to the radio, and mainlining vitamin C and zinc. You have a soothing soup for lunch and later you play sous chef to your husband while he cooks up a tasty dinner. The next day you're refreshed and ready to take it all on again. 

Emotion 9 - The Grab Bag 
You don't really feel an emotion, you feel all the emotions. Not quite at once but in rapid, ever changing succession. Little things set you off. Frustration, triumph, annoyance, elation, depression, fear, stress, excitement, confidence, happiness, tranquility...all wash over you a few times a day. 

You book a beach holiday with the dogs (something you haven't been able to do in Korea) and you feel extravagantly happy. You plan to see your family just before xmas (something you haven't been able to do while living overseas) and you feel overwhelming excitement. 

But then you book a boarding kennel for the dogs, it's where they'll live while you're in the serviced apartment, and you feel indescribably sad (and strangely afraid). You go to the vets to get a lump tested on one of the dogs, and you can't help but shed a tear or two while waiting for the results. You think 'What if it's bad? What will we do?'. After ten minutes they say they're 90% sure it's not bad, and you are so ridiculously relieved and thankful. 

Later, you look at the husband's planner and say 'Oh - you're going to Hong Kong? I'll come too...' but then your voice trails off when you realise by then Hong Kong will be eight hours away, not three. You're reminded that things are going to change; things are going to be very different, very soon. You find out a bill hasn't been paid, an email has bounced back, your credit card has been cancelled - and you feel annoyance and frustration out of all proportion to the situation. 

You realise perhaps you are not quite as refreshed and ready as you thought. So you go to the gym, and then do some stuff. You edit a bunch of photos, and then do some stuff. You have lunch with a friend, and then do some stuff. You realise that there's no mad race, that you are actually pretty organised, that things will fall in to place. That it's about balance, and that if you look after yourself you'll do a better job of everything. And that you need to take the time to savour the days you have left in this crazy city.

*************

If you're wondering what the first six emotions of repatriation are you can read all about them here. You may want to have a stiff drink handy. 

And yes, for the quibblers, I understand some of these aren't technically 'emotions'. But I don't care.

11 comments:

  1. What a roller coaster! Turtle turtle turtle

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you're handling it like a champ. I couldn't even get my head around all of those things to get done just reading them on your list. 'One bite of the elephant at a time' as my mum used to say. It was annoying at the time, but mildly helpful now in big situations. You're doing a great job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks! We are very lucky really - my husband has a fabulous employer and they give us so much support and assistance. How people do it completely on their own I don't know!

      And one bite of the elephant is absolutely the way to do it. If you don't break it down and focus on the little steps I think it would be completely overwhelming!

      Delete
  3. Such a journey which I think you're handling so well and is evident in your final paragraph.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks lovely! I'm looking forward to a time when things are a bit more settled and I can really get stuck in to the fun stuff (blogging, reading blogs, playing with my photos, etc) again!

      Delete
  4. Wow you really have alot on your plate at the moment? Just remember to take a step back every now and again and breathe. Look after yourself too, you will be fine just trust.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kelly, words of wisdom there x

      Delete
  5. This (and the first six emotions) is what I sometimes worry about when I think: "Would I ever be able to move back to Germany?" I think once you have lived somewhere else, it always is a big step to go 'back to normal'. But like you say, every place has it's own perks, and moving somewhere new (and I am sure Australia will feel kinda new and strange to you) is always a daunting enterprise. Just keep listening to yourself and it'll all get done in good time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Annika and yes, there is a lot in me that fears 'normal' - but like you say I think Australia IS going to be new and strange and wonderful! (Plus, I've already pencilled in a trip to Hong Kong in December, I don't think I'm going to be able to stay away from Asia for too long!)

      Delete
  6. I love that you can articulate so well all you are going through. It is such an exciting time in your life, and I can't wait to hear more on "moving back home". Plus, I want to see you more on IG too! Missing you.

    Cat xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks lovely! I am missing all my social media at the moment - I feel like I'm just grabbing seconds when I can, it's definitely not quality IG / blog / twitter time! Looking forward to catching up on everything sooooooooon...

      Delete

Your comments make me happier than you could possibly imagine. Really! Thank you.